We met and fell in LOVE with Eva LaRue earlier this year and KNEW she had to be a Warrior Mom of the month! You know her from shows like, CSI: Miami and All My Children, and has earned Emmy and NAACP nominations for her portrayal of strong women. She has recently added writing and producing to her resume. She lives in Los Angeles with her daughter, Kaya, and 2 spoiled dogs.
Hope you enjoy her story of being a triumphant single Mom:)
Lisa & Liz
I misspent my 20’s, and a few years into my 30’s in typical, self involved, actress mode, building my career and becoming quite the travel addict! My then husband, John Callahan, (my daughter Kaya’s father) and I met and married in New York while we were working on the soap opera All My Children together. Actually, to be clear, our characters got married first, and then life imitated art!
I must admit, at group play dates, when Kaya was little, I would get such bouts of free-floating anxiety from the moms who wanted to make toddler training an Olympic sport. Some of the moms would be locked in a “mom off” battle of who’s kid was more genius or special, and I would feel so crazy insecure that I had an obviously flagrant lack of maternal aptitude because my kid wasn’t reading at four! I look back at it now, and realize that because our children are in someways a reflection of us, we were all just looking to find our place and importance in this new job description called “Mom”.
And to be honest, because my kid didn’t crawl, walk, talk or read early (she was smack in the 60% bracket), I wondered who she would be and how she would turn out.
Well, she turned out to be what I call my Kick Butt Princess! Part girly, girl and part rough and tumble tomboy (competitive cheerleader and first base softball player). Her talent has turned out to be writing and public speaking. She wants absolutely nothing to do with an acting career even though she’s the spawn of two overly dramatic thespians- Who can blame her!
When she was 12 , she wrote a profoundly moving tribute to Robin Williams after his death that went viral and was eventually picked up and published for the Hollywood Foreign Press/Golden Globe website. And delivered a motivational speech about women’s rights and education, after being inspired by watching the documentary on Malala (The youngest ever Nobel priest prize winner), and after listening to Emma Watson’s speech at the UN.
OK, I’m almost finished bragging, but I still have to say she, is wicked witty, outgoing, compassionate, positive and engaging, emotionally intelligent and responsible. She makes me laugh harder and longer than anyone else I’ve ever known and she’s my favorite person on the planet! I am in a constant state of being blown away by her and she keeps me on my toes! But she still gets mostly B’s and is crap at math (just like her momma)!
My greatest challenge has been being a single mom since Kaya was one-year-old. I’m sure that millions of mom’s across the nations can attest to the fact that It is the catalyst that thrusts us into a crazy, never ending work cycle. I was driven, like my butt was on fire, by the fear of being the sole financial supporter, and trying, as deftly as possible, to navigate the emotional landmines of resentment and anger because of it. With little added chocolate sprinkles of working in an industry, where you can be a star today, then broke and living in oblivion tomorrow.
Oooooh, and navigating the dating and remarrying waters without it negatively affecting your kid- Neat trick if you can pull it off!
That being said, onto my lowest point, which was the absolute debilitating,emotional devastation I felt after my recent divorce two years ago from Kaya’s stepdad. My best circus trick was my clown act ; smiling on the outside and crying alone when she couldn’t see me. It sent me into a blurry tailspin that took me from having to mobilize every cell of my being to get out of bed every day, into the most unbelievably healing and transformational period of my life.
With CSI-Miami and my marriage ending almost simultaneously, I oddly found myself with the luxury of time as I worked to help heal Kaya and I both through the most confusing of times. It became this beautiful opportunity to create an incredible depth of emotional communication, awareness and closeness, on a very spiritual level.
I love the JFK quote :
“The word “crisis” in the Chinese language is composed of two characters- One represents danger and the other represents opportunity”.
I think it’s the opportunity to truly recognize our soul. When the layers and layers that have been holding us back over the years are purposely pulled away and we’re ready to break free of the limiting beliefs, people, and small problems that have seemed so big, we allow ourselves that truly transformational state that is only born of pain. I mean, when you think about it, the only pain that is avoidable and perhaps the worst kind of pain, is the pain we create trying to avoid pain! And when I try to remember daily, that things are not happening TO me, they are happening FOR me, it decidedly changes my perspective.
I have an unbelievably loving and supportive group of girlfriends! Many have had challenges that far exceed mine; piecing marriages back together after an infidelity, one with a child that develop severe OCD, and another who just discovered that her daughter, a level 10 gymnast, has a rare, rapidly growing brain tumor. We are each other’s sounding board, therapist, spiritual advisor, cheerleader and prayer circle. The ones who have loved and known each other the best, the longest, and the most unconditionally.
The best part of being a mom, besides the fact that she makes me laugh till I’m incontinent, is who I’ve become because of what she’s taught me. From the moment she was a two celled organism, she was not just in my heart, but grafted into every limb and cell of my body. Loving her has changed my brain and my molecules. Changed the way I think, talk and act, like leaving behind a series of selves, like cocoons, because I’ve only become a butterfly since she came into my life. She gave my life heart, depth and meaning, and a goal of being the best possible person and mom I can be for her.
Even so, I’ve been putting away money into 2 separate bank accounts for her. One is for college and the other is for the inevitable- because I know, that all of us moms, and all the moms that have gone before, despite our best efforts, are the main attraction in therapy!
I am the spokesperson for the Tahirih Justice Center, which provides free legal services to women and girls who are trafficked into the United States against their will, via sex slavery or “mail-order bride”, to seek asylum from the US government. Please donate to them if you can Tahirih Justice Center
Recently I took my love of adventure and travel to he next level. I was announced as a Luxury Travel Ambassador for Dot Luxury, sharing my luxury travel experiences in a monthly guest post on the Discover.Luxury blog. Read all about my amazing adventures there and on my site One Planet | Eva LaRue