Warrior Mom – Jennifer Schaefer




Jennifer Schaefer

We met Jennifer through a friend. We instantly loved her and knew she had special gifts to share with the world. We hope you find her story as heartfelt and beautiful as she is!

xo Lisa & Liz

1) Give us a brief history on yourself before becoming a Mom.

“Hahah… I forgot!” This was my first response when reading this question. Truth be told I was very happy; I loved my independence and I was traveling right before I got pregnant with my daughter Ella. I was working for my sister’s custom clothing company — designing suits and casual wear for professional athletes. It was a great job for someone in her late 20’s, and the perks that I was working and traveling with my sister. Even though I liked what I was doing I wasn’t fully satisfied or fulfilled on a deeper level. I was feeling empty in my soul body. So even though I was happy on the surface, I was seeking something with more meaning. I thought it was a career, not a family. I was blessed with both. I believe that my first born, Ella helped me find my career in the
healing arts. It was with her birth that I stumbled onto becoming a Hypnotherapist.

2) Tell us about your child (children). What makes them unique?

I have really fun children that are so diverse. My first born just turned twelve and her name is Ella. She has one of the kindest souls and is super duper smart. She skipped 1st grade and is now in 7th grade. She is on the academic decathlon team for her second year and is amazing at volleyball and basketball. She is the first person to help me organize and help around the house without an eye roll, well for the most part. :)

Then I was blessed with my mirror child. His name is Pruitt and he’s nine years old. He reminds me so much of myself growing up. He struggles in school because he learns differently than the average kid. As I’m writing this I believe more and more children come into this world that are programmed differently than how we previously learned. School systems are just starting to look into alternative ways to teach children today. He is bright, compassionate and has a knack for music and beats. He is very aware of people’s feelings and tries to help when he feels someone needs a hug or an ear to talk to. He teaches me daily on how to overcome frustrations and not feeling “good enough”. Because he is a mirror to how I felt as a child, I’m able to give him the the kind of attention and understanding he needs to become successful – that I wish I had at his age.

3) What has been your greatest challenge since you’ve become a Mother?

My greatest challenge has been not to take life personally. We are in this culture that likes to compete. As a parent I was shocked to find out how much judgment and expectations had been put on me from other parents. “Don’t co-sleep, its dangerous;” “Don’t feed your children fast food;” “You do WHAT?!?” It was so upsetting and isolating. I felt that most parents were living in so much fear around making the “right” choices that they forgot their power in the instincts of parenting. Your instincts are connected to what is best for the emotional and physical growth for you and your family.

4) What has been your lowest point in your motherhood journey? How did you survive it?

Wow, this answer just flew into my thoughts: It was when I decided to leave my husband. I had the feeling of failure, like I had let my children down and lost my “picture” of what a family looks like. That’s bananas because I came from a divorced family. I knew from my past experiences that there is no such things as a “picture perfect” family. But still I had to mourn this idea.This was the first time that I had to make a choice that affected my kids that would change the course of their lives. It put me in a space that was filled with fear of not knowing if I’d be able to take care of my kids financially; doubting my choices — not for leaving my ex — but doubting the children’s strength to overcome; depression of why I had stayed so many years; and anxiety for my future as a single mother.

This was the first time in my life I hit “rock bottom” emotionally and physically; literally crippled by fear and having to put on a good face for the kids. Ella was 5 and Pruitt was 2 1/2. I kept thinking I had ripped their innocence. But through the mud I learned so much about myself and my strength. I started to go to the basics of self-healing. I did nightly affirmations and I started to “date” myself by buying myself flowers and taking one night a week that I spoiled myself with “me” time, which was a treat because when I was married I was truly already a “single” parent. My ex was never home and I took care of the kids with no outside help. So a night to myself became a dream come true!

5) Do you have friends with similar challenges? Are you supported?

I think the more honest you are as a parent the more you will start to see that the people that surround you are going through similar feelings and experiences. I love what you ladies are doing because you are raising the veil of “perfect parenting” and allowing us as mothers to share our stories that normalize a bad day and uplift you when you need to know you’re not alone. I created a bubble around me that is supportive; I have a wonderful mother and sister that are always jumping into help this single, full-time working mother. I have also created a lovely and amazing group of people that support me emotionally.

6) What is the best part about being a Mom?

Getting to play! I love being creative, silly and laughing! I get to be a listening ear, I have the blessing of helping to show my kids how powerful they are and how each choice they make creates their next moment! It’s a gift to be able to track how their choices effect the next moment. We make it a game and track it. For example, if Ella chooses to do the extra credit at school, how will it raise her grade? Or if Pruitt decided he doesn’t want to do his homework, how that feels the next day at school. I’m a huge believer in “reality” parenting. I guide them, teach them and let them see that they aren’t controlled; they are guided to see that their choices make the difference. Learning should be fun and we definitely make it a game!

7) If you have a business, product, charity and/ or cause you want to promote please provide details.

I’m a holistic and intuitive healer that has learned to help others to overcome their past and present obstacles, using many different alternative modalities I’ve created. I have a private practice in Studio City. Every year, I host Spiritual Awakening Retreats in Bali, San Miguel de Allende and Joshua Tree that introduce you to other healers; techniques towards deep transformational growth; and reconnecting to your inner power. In early 2017, I am also launching my YouTube channel called: Jennifer Schaefer, The Alternative — where you can go and learn an empowering weekly lesson — from forgiveness, to creating your desires and my website is www.JenniferWellness.com. There will be tips, homework and a downloadable mediation/hypnosis on iTunes that supports each week’s topic for personal healing and growth.

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